A Submissive’s Review of “Pillion” - A Gay BDSM Movie 

Like most articles on this site, let me start with a preface. This is NOT a review of the movie itself. We will just be focusing on the dynamic portrayed in the movie and how accurate a portrayal it is of the kink community. As much as I’d love to make a cinematic breakdown discussing plot, editing techniques, and shot composition, YOU’RE HERE FOR THE KINK!

I will directly point out when this review enters spoiler territory. We are all about consent here, after all.

I would also like to state I am not a movie critic; I’m not sure how to write one of these, and I am sure I will miss a lot of the fundamentals of a normal movie review. Either way, let’s give this a go.

What Pillion is About

Pillion is about a submissive named Colin who ends up exploring and finding a home in the gay, kinky, biker, leather community through a Dominant named Ray. Throughout the movie, Colin and Ray explore a pretty intense dynamic with different types of sexual, physical, and emotional services. Things take a bit of a turn when Colin’s family begins to question his relationship with Ray, prompting Colin to question whether this type of relationship is a good fit for him. There’s a mix of light-hearted moments with heartbreak, and a lot of gay sex. (Yes, get ready to see naked men’s asses, more than just a hint of genitalia, and a lot of sexual kink on display).

But to say that this movie is just for gay porn enjoyers or even just queer men is an understatement. This movie is much deeper than the flashy leather and wrestling singlets; there’s a lot to take away from Pillion about relationship structures and figuring out what is right for you.

Why Pillion is a Different Kink Movie Than the Rest

When people think of BDSM-related movies, it’s safe to say a lot of them will think of the 50 Shades of Grey series. I’m sure you can find many reviewers talking about why 50 Shades is a terrible representation of our community. I can assure you that Pillion is not the same. Shocker, it’s ACTUALLY a good representation overall!

Unlike the aforementioned movie, which clearly had no thought other than “handcuffs = dangerous, how sexy”, Pillion handles kink very well and does not stray away from showing an ACTUAL intense dynamic. In fact, some of what was shown was quite shocking to see in a film: Collars, shaved heads, chastity cages, sleeping on the floor… You get the gist. In fact, there’s an explanation as to why this was a pretty damn good portrayal — because it was made by kinksters and people who actually researched!

Pillion is adapted from the book Boxhill by Adam Mars-Jones, which features the same characters and dynamics but is told in a slightly different narrative with a very different ending from the movie. Firstly, the book is written by a gay man who very clearly knows a thing or two about kink. Queer representation by a queer author? Well, that’s a good sign. According to Elle.com, the intimacy coordinator, Robbie Taylor Hunt, said: “It’s so real and quietly respectful of not sensationalizing it or making it this strange thing around queer intimacy or the kink community.” Jake Shear, one of the actors for the bikers in the movie, mentioned that he read The Leather Man’s Handbook to prepare for the role.

So clearly, a lot of thought went into making sure this movie showed not only queer relationships but also kink through a well-researched lens. As someone who has engaged in the kink community for over 8 years, I can say with confidence the team did a great job researching and portraying a rather sensitive subject matter.

Here’s the kicker — (at first) all relationships shown are a pretty healthy (yet intense) example of a kink relationship. My Master Aidan, his other submissive, and I kept looking at each other in shock when the Dominant wasn’t portrayed as a “broken, traumatic sadist,” and the submissive actually enjoyed the experience. Seriously, seeing a pretty decent portrayal of a Dominant got us all giddy. Ray, the Dominant in question, was absolutely not perfect, but he showed compassion, care, and wasn’t pathologized. There was one point where he made the worst dad joke I’ve heard in quite a long time, and that’s saying a lot because my Master makes them all the time. More importantly, Ray’s mistakes and choices felt very human. He wasn’t presented as godlike and made decisions that felt very true to life. This is a nice counter to a lot of media portraying Dominants as cold-hearted, fully rational individuals that are either symbolic of abusers or untouchable deities.

The Dynamic Itself

Here’s where we get into light spoiler territory. I will be breaking down the characters’ dynamic and how it benefits our main character, Colin, by going over specific moments of the film. There will be no spoilers for the end of the film yet or any big events, and I’ll make sure to state clearly when we get there! Clear communication is important in kink relationships after all, right? Even when it’s just some random kinkster on the internet info-dumping to a void. Hello? Is anyone there?

There are, of course, several different types of dynamics within kink. Some are just scene-based, some involve switching back and forth, and others are all-encompassing. I would definitely classify Colin and Ray’s relationship as a 24/7 dynamic, very close to a Total Power Exchange relationship. I wouldn’t qualify it as a TPE simply because it’s never stated as such, and there’s nothing proving that Ray has total control over Colin.

Colin does have responsibilities within the dynamic that would qualify as a higher protocol dynamic. He is not allowed on the furniture until later in their dynamic, with Ray’s dog being prioritized over Colin (the dog, by the way, is adorable. I have a soft spot for Rotties). Instead of sleeping in bed with Ray, Colin bundles up on the floor and is only later allowed a pillow and blanket. Colin is shown cleaning the house, learning to cook for Ray, and getting groceries. As a side note, it was nice to see a male submissive do roles that are often attributed to feminine submission without diminishing his masculinity. Obviously, all folks can grab the groceries or wear an apron, but seeing that on screen without it being a “feminization kink” was very refreshing. Although a very small part of the film, it was nice to break gender barriers in subtle ways.

Actions and obedience are one thing, but the real intensity comes in the way Ray physically shapes Colin. As a submissive, I feel giving up parts of your expression and body is an ultimate form of submission. That means it goes deeper than how your Dominant sees you; you’re actively showing it to others too. So when Colin shaves his head for Ray, it’s clearly a sign of how far he’s willing to go to commit to this dynamic. For context, a submissive shaving their head is part of the Leatherman’s Handbook, the “bible” of the gay leather community. Yet, it doesn’t stop there.

Colin wears a heavy-chained collar constantly. When he sleeps, in public, with his family, while Ray holds the key to the collar around his neck. A very classic sign of a dynamic, and trust me, this collar was not subtle. One thing I do really appreciate about the movie is that the collar, although striking, was never questioned by anyone. It became a part of Colin’s identity, and even when his mother and father approach Colin with concern, his physical changes are never mentioned. As someone who has dyed my hair, wears a necklace, and is planning to get a tattoo for my Master, I was glad it wasn’t seen as weird. Especially because vanilla relationships constantly make physical changes for their partners.

The Kink Community on Screen

I’ve been mainly focusing on the relationship between Ray and Colin themselves, but I would be missing a key part of the movie if I didn’t bring up the community surrounding our two… not lovebirds… kinkbirds? Maybe my Master can make a better pun here than me, considering I’ve been talking about how many dad jokes He makes.

Nah, I’ll just leave this as is. :) Over and out.- Aidan

Throughout the movie, we get to see how the couple interacts with other kinky men. Ray hosts get-togethers; they go camping, hang out with their bikes… It’s pretty cool to see a bunch of kinksters have a healthy friendship with diverse dynamics in place. The group itself is pretty diverse, too, representing different body types, disabilities, and relationships.

Kvasir, the puppyplay enthusiast featured in Pillion is actually into biking and pupplay, which means the background characters were actual kinksters. This is something that Aidan immediately pointed out when watching the film as well; we could feel the authenticity on the screen. (You can read a full interview of Kvasir and his experience with Pillion here).

When Colin hits a bit of a rough patch with Ray, he finds compassion in his new kinky friends. One of the other submissives featured in the film actively checks in on Colin’s relationship with Ray, and Ray is seen hanging out with other Dominants. It helped normalize the audience to this lifestyle, saying “hey, Ray and Colin aren’t the only ones who are like this. There’s a whole world of us out there.”

Family Relations

Okay, we’re getting into spoilers for a very specific scene here. You’re still good for the general plot of the movie if you read it, and it’s a rather predictable plot point. Going into this movie, I thought the main tension of the movie would be between Colin’s parents and himself. Colin works as a traffic warden, sings in a barbershop quartet, and still lives with his parents. It’s a very clean, innocent lifestyle from his parents' point of view. So when Colin comes back home with a shaved head, chain around his neck, and a biker boyfriend, it’s understandable that his parents are a bit taken aback. Ray also tends not to be super into his feelings, and he mentions several times to Colin that it probably isn’t the best idea for him to meet his family.

Ah, but he eventually does, and Ray was proven right. Colin’s mother brings up some concerns in a pretty aggressive way, and Ray doesn’t hold back in defending himself and the lifestyle the two have chosen to live.

Now going on a side tangent here, I actually kind of get where the mother is coming from. There’s a scene in the movie where the Mother and Father are celebrating Colin’s birthday, and Colin interrupts the celebration by answering Ray on the phone, taking the birthday card his parents got for him, and writing down an address right there on the card. That gave me a pretty uneasy feeling, and I knew there would be tension between the parents and Colin from then on. Kind of shitty move by Colin, in all honesty.

Back to the mysterious biker boyfriend meeting parents, and it inevitably going wrong. It really hits close to home for relationships that may be unconventional to the outside world. You get the Mom’s perspective; she assumes this man is taking advantage of her son. But you also know how deeply Ray actually cares about Colin, and by extension, how happy Colin truly seems to be. It’s a very touchy subject that is very hard to explore on the screen, and all in all, I think they did it pretty well.

If we want to look at a great familial relationship, look no further than Colin’s father. He was understanding, supportive, a little goofy, and truly recognized how much Ray meant to Colin. There is a point in the movie where he actively helps Colin out after an unfortunate event takes place, proving that he will be there for Colin no matter what. The father never judges the relationship, never bats an eye at Ray — he sees that Colin is happy with Ray and actively supports it. That’s the best we can hope for from our family as kinksters.

Is it Abuse or Kink?

After watching the movie, I went online to see people’s reactions and to no one’s surprise, the vanilla critics immediately viewed this as abusive. On the contrary, I don’t think any abuse was shown at all. Ray was a very established and experienced Dominant. He continued to remind Colin that at any point, Colin could leave if he wasn’t enjoying himself. There was actually an extremely sweet (light spoilers) moment where Colin burned his hands cooking, and Ray made sure he was taken care of, then ordered them both a pizza so Colin didn’t have to worry about food. Over time, you can definitely see Ray develop an attachment and clearly care for Colin. He just does so in a not-typically romantic way.

Genuinely, if you’re reading reviews about this movie and people are calling it abusive, look at who's writing the reviews. I wouldn’t trust anyone outside of the kink community or who at least has a decent understanding to rate the dynamic in this movie fairly. There are displays of obedience shown that would be too intense for most people, but that does not mean it’s abusive. Communication and consent were a key part of their relationship.

Let’s Talk About The Ending…

See, I said ending! That means I’M ABOUT TO SPOIL THE MOVIE!! Please turn back now if you don’t want the entire movie spoiled! You can go to the next headline “Final Thoughts” to go back to your spoiler-free review. This is your final warning… Okay?

Spoilers in:

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So after the scene where Colin realizes he doesn’t want a 24/7 dynamic, but instead a 24/6 dynamic, Ray just ghosts Colin. Literally moves out of town, never to be seen again. That’s a pretty damn wild reaction, and that’s what I mean when I say Ray feels very human.

We see that Ray is not great with his emotions or at expressing himself throughout the movie, and Colin has a very bad pseudo-brat moment where he steals Ray's motorcycle, followed by a day when they act as a vanilla couple that Colin seems to really enjoy. So, in the context of the movie, I think it makes a lot of sense that Ray just up and left. Is it shitty? Yes. Should Ray have just broken off the dynamic? Absolutely. Is it a very human screw-up? Also, yes.

When this happened, my Dom and I were literally yelling at the screen. We both knew if this is how the movie ended, audiences would have a bad taste in their mouth, and the implication would be that “you can’t trust a relationship like this to go well.”

But that’s not how the movie ended. It ends with Colin creating a profile on a dating app, strongly hinting that submission is a core part of his identity. He makes one key change —he wants one day off per week with no dynamic.

That’s a boundary he set and one he found through his relationship with Ray. It’s never mentioned that his relationship with Ray was a bad one; in fact, on the contrary. Colin learned quite a lot about himself… what he enjoys as a submissive, what he doesn’t, and found a community that he still has a home in with people who care. It’s never stated that his relationship with Ray was a waste or a regret, which is a nice change of pace for most movies that involve a breakup.

And the fact that at the VERY end of the movie he still finds a Dominant and continues to explore is wonderful! Side note: When my Master and I saw that the new Dom was a person of color, we both started tearing up. My Dominant is also POC, and seeing a representation of an interracial queer dynamic genuinely took us back. Representation really does matter.

So we never know exactly what happens to Ray, but Aidan pointed out that he left once he realized he wasn’t what Colin was looking for. There was no anger, no animosity. Aidan theorized that Ray might have left because he knew Colin would want to stay and relinquish what would make him happiest in a relationship. Aidan mentioned that this is a thought process many Doms, including Himself, have had in the past. A “am I right for this person, or would they be better off if I left?” Ray wanted a 24/7 dynamic with sex and less romance, and Colin wanted more independence within a dynamic that included a romantic relationship. It wasn't that they were bad for each other or that the dynamic was bad; they weren’t compatible. So Colin had to look elsewhere.

Again, a very harsh way to go about it from Ray’s side, but at the end of the day, I totally get it. Compatibility is a very large part of a dynamic, and those two weren’t going to last long term given their needs, which are both valid.

Final Thoughts - A Submissive’s Perspective

If I were to praise this movie for anything, it’s how it went about showing a submissive’s purpose. Colin isn’t necessarily deemed as “societally successful” (which is a BS concept anyway), but you can really see how being a submissive affects Colin in such a positive way. As they delve deeper into the dynamic, Colin’s confidence grows, he’s no longer bothered by his job, and he finds something he truly feels gives him a purpose. Serving my Dominant has been one of the greatest prides of my life, and seeing it on the big screen was truly inspiring.

My biggest complaint about this movie is that I wanted more. I don’t mean the sex scenes either. I wish this movie had 30 more minutes to flesh out some of the points that felt a little pushed back. Some seeds felt planted that never sprouted (like the birthday card scene). I wanted to see more of how they explored their dynamic and what adjustments Colin has to make internally. Aside from a few small nitpicks here and there, that’s really my only criticism of the movie. If I go out of a movie saying “the biggest issue is I want more”, that’s got to tell you it’s a pretty damn good movie.

For those of us in unconventional relationships, especially more disciplined ones, I really think you will feel seen in this movie. I would recommend any heavily kinky person watch it (while the target audience is clearly gay men, I think any kinky person can enjoy this regardless of identity. Just be aware there are naked men having kinky sex and quite a lot of it).

I left this movie feeling pretty inspired to have a conversation with my Dominant on how we want to continue our dynamic, and we both left feeling stronger in our relationship too. I really hope more media like this gets made. It finally feels like we’re getting some good content about us, and I think there is SO much more that can be explored.

Speaking of which, a call to action to any potential filmmakers out there. I so badly want a movie from a Dominant’s perspective. That’s an angle I haven’t seen anyone take yet, and I’d love more media that humanizes Doms. If I don’t hear anything in the next ten years, maybe I’ll start writing a script…

Either way, I know this article is a bit different from our usual content here, so we’d love to get your feedback in the comments below (your data is not collected, we genuinely want your opinion). Are there any other BDSM-related movies we should take a look at? Any thoughts you all have on Pillion?

Enjoy the movie if you end up watching, and we hope to see you here again!