Purging Media - A One-Week Check-In

If you have been around our blog since its very beginning, you may remember our first article ever: “How Stepping Away from TikTok Strengthened My Submission”. I feel that the title is relatively self-explanatory, but it’s very true. I haven’t missed TikTok at all in the past year, and honestly, I’m extremely thankful I was commanded to delete it. No regrets whatsoever.

My Master and I have been exploring ways to increase our dynamic even further, moving from D/s to M/s (Dominant/submissive to Master/slave). That is a whole other article in itself. Let’s stick to what’s relevant. As part of this new training period, my Master has removed my ability to access any media. Now we should talk about what that means, the exceptions, and how I’m feeling on the receiving end of this big change.

Basically, I’m no longer allowed to:

• Be on any social media platforms (TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Reddit, etc)
• Watch any videos (long OR short-form, with some exceptions)
• Play any video games (unless it’s a game we play together)
• Read any webcomics or any similar medium

Oh, and the hardest one? NO MUSIC.

I am allowed to:

• Be on Discord (I only use it to keep in contact with friends or be on the DD server)
• Browse the internet for research or answering my plethora of weird questions
• Use Snapchat, messaging, and staying in contact with people
• Videos about kink are always allowed, videos related to my work are allowed during work hours, and watching sports highlights of my favorite teams with permission
• Watch a short video/meme that someone sends to me
• Listen to music if it’s playing out loud (in a mall, at a festival, etc)
• Probably a few other tiny things here and there that don’t warrant being listed out

“Uh, Charlie, are you in a cult? That sounds quite intense. Why are you doing this?”

No, I’m not in a cult! (I think). Yes, it is intense, in theory. In practice, I’ve learned that it’s really not as difficult as it seems.

We’re doing this for a couple of different reasons, particularly to see how this change affects my subspace. I really enjoy media, especially videos. I was the stereotypical kid who would come back from school and pop on a YouTube video while playing a video game to relax (I was an older iPad baby before it was cool). That behavior transitioned into adult life: listening to videos/podcasts while doing chores, absorbing Reddit threads in any short break I had in my day, and even watching videos alongside work. I would say I spent about 8-10 hours a day consuming some kind of content, mostly just in the background while adulting. There was a certain level of addiction going on. Now, it wasn’t as serious as it was when I used to use TikTok as aftercare, but I would still get pretty antsy if I wasn’t listening to something in the background as I completed other tasks. I’m sure many people reading this can relate to their first instinct is to grab their phone in the morning (LDR dynamics, you get a bit of an excuse; I feel for you).

I slowly started transitioning from videos to audiobooks, language learning podcasts, and sometimes just good ole’ music. Yet, I found myself slipping back to old habits quite frequently, and it became apparent to my Master that I was relying on this to make service tasks easily palatable (e.g., enjoying shredding paper because I saw it as time to watch a video rather than focused on the service aspect of ripping the paper). Since we’re transitioning to M/s now and playing with extremes, my Master said, “Nope. Enough of that. I’m taking all of this away and let’s see what happens.”

“So… how has it felt?”

Since I’ve already worked on my reliance on social media and fast-paced content, the change hasn’t been as drastic as I thought it might’ve been. Especially because when I’m home, I always have things to do. Instead of scrolling on Reddit, I’m replying to messages that I’ve been meaning to reply to anyway. I’m not watching videos; I’m picking up a book about kink or journaling about my submission. My Master and His partner have also commented that I seem much more attentive, more engaged in conversation, maintaining eye contact longer, and more focused. By extension, I have definitely been a better slave this past week since I have much less to fill my brain with. That has also been a reason we’re trying this: to get my brain completely invested in my slavehood. I’ve mainly got work and slavery to focus on, with a sprinkle of fun here and there (My Master has been playing one of my favorite video games, and I’ve really enjoyed being an observer).

“So it’s all sunshine and rainbows, really?”

No. Let’s talk about the ugly. I have been pretty antsy, especially when I have tedious tasks at work. I’m currently working on a very technical project. Before, I would work on it for 15-20 minutes, taking 5-minute breaks to keep myself motivated. Now, I don’t have that, so I’ve been doing my best to push through without breaks. This has been pretty difficult for me, and I usually leave my work feeling pretty grouchy. It’s been harder to find “fun” and entertainment in day-to-day life, which is extremely important for me to be my chipper self. This was not helped by the fact that I have been working significant overtime recently, which has made me want to consume media more than usual to wind down.

During this first week, we were on a train to a work event, and I found myself extremely bored on this six-hour trip. Wow! BORED!! I haven’t been bored in ages! At any sign of boredom, I would immediately pick up my phone. On the train, I could only read or doodle for so long until I started getting antsy, and I was still recovering from mental fatigue from this 60-hour work week. Eventually I ended up sitting there, staring out of the window. This is not normal Charlie behavior! Usually I am a yapper, excitedly showing something on my phone to my Master or sharing a piece of information I learned in a video. I didn’t really know what to do with myself, especially when I saw both Him and Saph (His partner) on their phones.

I expressed my discomfort to my Master, and He said that I “looked depressed”, and He was tempted to back off on some of the rules. I urged Him to not let go, despite my discomfort (to me, being a submissive, specifically a slave, isn’t always supposed to be a comfortable experience), and requested His help in finding a solution.

So we bought a card game. That’s all that it took, and I was back to my talkative self in no time. Charlie the yapper has returned! All I needed was to do a simple, fun activity that got my mind off work, and I was totally fine. The biggest change I was struggling with is not knowing how to turn “work Charlie” off since media was my usual transition out. Once we found another solution, stripping media became a whole lot easier. Even though boredom has crept into my life much more, I have been thinking and reflecting often as well. My Master has stated that he’s really impressed with everything I’ve been reflecting on. I can say firsthand I’ve noticed my brain has slowed down, and it’s much easier to think than before. We joke, and He teases me, saying I’m more “simple-minded” now, but honestly, I feel focused and that I can actually follow my thought process for once.

Turning off the music

There is still one thing that has been the toughest out of this all: no music. I’m not addicted or dependent on music, but my Master has a great memory of a moment where I was. A few years back, I forgot my headphones when going to the gym and proceeded to have a panic attack. I used to be (and still am to some extent) very self-conscious about working out. Listening to music distracts me and gives me some motivation to push through the lack of confidence when working out. So, when I forgot my headphones, I told Master that I couldn’t work out… despite His command, and despite me already being at the gym. Yikes!!

Well, my Master remembered, so this is His way of being “Yeah, you don’t need some damn music to get a good workout in.” On my first day without media, I was required to run without music. insert terrified emoji. I was cursing the entire process out in my brain so hard. Am I breathing too hard? Am I slamming my feet too much? My legs hurt so bad. I have no internal motivation to keep running. I can’t do this. This isn’t fun. I hate running. Fuck this…” The negative thoughts went on and on. I wanted any excuse to get off that damn treadmill and end my workout.

I slowed down to a walk, caught my breath, and told my Master what was happening. He said to keep going. Well, shit. I’m His slave after all, so I have to keep going despite my brain wanting to punch a hole through this damn treadmill. Okay, let’s keep going, I guess.

Then, a weird cycle happened. Fine, I’ll just run until I get to one mile, then I’ll get off. Well, now I’m only 30 seconds off from a good time; let’s just jog a little further. Actually, might as well go for 1.5 miles; I’m only .2 off now…

Suddenly, I ran the longest distance I’d ever run on a treadmill, and without any music whatsoever.

So, the moral of the story here? I’m not as dependent on the conditions around me as I thought I was. Of course, music is enjoyable to listen to while working out. Yes, my workday gets easier when I watch something on the side. But it’s not required, and I can function just fine without these sources, with some positive benefits.

Final reflection

You are not as dependent on the escape routes you’ve given yourself as you think you are. Once you’re ready to face your own thoughts, I recommend you try it. I’m not going to suggest to any Doms that they remove all their subs' social media, or to subs that they try to go into this headfirst. But think about something you feel you’re dependent on. Is it “I need my cup of coffee in the morning, or I can’t function,” or how about “If I don’t scroll on Instagram for 30 minutes, my brain will start racing.” See how it feels to remove that for a couple of days. Uncomfortable, I’m sure, but consider whether you really want to be dependent on those things that you feel are required. Is that how you truly want to feel? Again, I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t, but it might be good to recognize you’re far more capable of making it through the day than what your initial urges and routine tell you you need.

“So what’s next? How long are you doing this for?”

Pft. I’m a slave! I have no clue what’s next and seldom have a clue how long this will go on for. I do know there will be an end to this. My Master recognizes that I do love media for reasons outside of just addiction. It’s more than just a coping mechanism for me, and it’s something I’m passionate about learning from, being entertained by, and creating myself.

If a Dominant is trying to take something you truly love away from you without any logic behind it or permanently, that’s a red flag. Please realize the difference! And Doms, if this is something you are considering doing in some capacity, please tell your subs why and explain the logic. You’d be amazed by how much a sub’s attitude changes when they realize you’re doing this for both of your benefit.

Yes, I’m a bit uncomfortable right now, and I have mixed feelings about my next gym session. But instead of watching a video for an hour while my Master is on a call, I wrote this article. So, maybe there is something to this whole limiting media thing (unless it’s Dominant Discourse related, duh). I plan to give an update eventually, so stay tuned for that!

In the meantime, maybe take this as a prompt to consider what you’re reliant on and if that’s something you want to continue to be. Some food for thought for anyone who journals out there (and for those who don’t, maybe consider it! I have found it incredibly useful). I’m talking to you too, Doms and switches! Y’all aren’t getting out of this.

See you all in a few weeks with an update!