Where Submission and Hobbies Overlap

Almost everyone has a hobby of some sort. If you manage to find any free time between work, chores, and taking care of your bodily functions (shout out to my overworked US submissives), it’s nice to have a little space to do something you enjoy. As a submissive myself, I have a lot of different hobbies I like to partake in, and I enjoy finding ways to serve my Master through them. Let’s talk about how you can put your hobbies to good use and actively serve your Dominant.

Kink, in itself, is a hobby. It might feel weird to classify it that way, but it’s a way people entertain themselves, something they can actively improve in, and a way to wind down after a long day. You could practice your rope-tying skills, learn how to take pain better, even shop for different toys. Kink can be a very engaging way to explore a hobby within a community. So if you feel like you don’t “have a hobby,” remember—reading this article counts!

But what about hobbies that don’t actively tie into kink? You can make an easy argument for how learning how to tie different knots can strengthen your skills in a kink setting, but what about something more out there? Playing an instrument, working out, gardening, crocheting, and a variety of other activities can be used to strengthen your submission.

First, let’s address something that can come up when using your hobbies in service to your Dominant: pressure and responsibility. If your Dominant requests your hobby too often, it may start to feel more like a chore than a relaxing pastime. If they demand perfection, expect consistency, or don’t allow you space to enjoy the hobby just for yourself now and then, it can quickly become stressful. The goal is to find a light, enjoyable method of serving your Dom while doing something you love. It’s about sharing the world of your hobby with your Dom, not changing its meaning entirely. Communicate with your Dom if your hobby starts to feel overwhelming.

Obeying, submitting, kneeling, sexually serving, cooking, cleaning, pain tolerance... all of these can be key parts of submission. But every dynamic is different. So, how about some less traditional ways to make your Dom happy—by doing what you like? Here’s a list of popular hobbies and how they can be used to please your Dominant:

Cooking/Baking/Mixing

Quite an obvious one, but cooking is an extremely popular hobby - probably because cooking for most is a necessity. Yet there are ways to bring cooking to a new level besides just feeding your Dominant. Taking time to learn knife skills can be more efficient, create even cuts in food, and can look pretty impressive. Dominants often love showing off the skills of their submissive. It screams “look at what they can do, and yes, I own them.” Aside from just trying to improve skills in the kitchen, you can also experiment. Have your Dom pick out a recipe book for you and try to make them something from it. Observe what flavor profiles your Dom likes and begin testing out meals for that. Cooking is a great and easy way to serve your Dom because at the end they’ll have a tasty treat!

Mixing drinks also fits into this category and can definitely put your Dom in a good mood. Imagine the smile on your Dom's face when they come home from a long day of work and you present them with a drink you’ve made—something you can both sip on while you catch up and relax. It could be a cocktail, or maybe a rich, creamy milkshake that sweetens the moment and melts the tension away.

Playing a Sport/Working Out

I’ll keep this one brief because there’s already an article about how playing a sport can help your submission. There are a few other ways that are not mentioned in the article. Simply, you could play the sport with your Dom. A fun way to bond in a challenging environment. It can be a team sport, individual for some friendly competition, or a duo sport, like tennis. Duo sports are great because they force you to work on your team building skills and communication. Which, at this point, you should know communication is the center of a good dynamic. Working out together is also a great way to bond.

If your Dominant isn’t interested in playing the sport with you, maybe they’re interested in watching. My Dominant always comes to my sports games and He says those are some of His favorite moments. You are providing a means of entertainment and pride by playing a sport for your Dom. You can also dedicate certain actions to your Dom. Maybe you beat your personal record, scored an awesome goal, made the best save… whatever it is, a quick point on the field to your Dom is saying “I’m sharing this moment with you. I dedicate it to you.”

Even if your Dominant isn’t interested in the sport at all, you can still find ways to dedicate some aspects to them. You can tell them how thinking of their dominance helped calm you down during a match, or that in your head you're dedicating some aspect of the sport to them. Plus, working out and sports usually result in strength, health, and high endurance, all great qualities to have in a submissive.

Video Games

You might see a trend here as we move through the subjects—doing it with your Dom. The best way you can feel close to your Dominant is by actively partaking in hobbies with them, and video games are no different. I love showing my Master what I’m playing, watching Him play games, and even better, playing together.

If your Dominant isn’t necessarily interested in playing games, perhaps they can make in-game decisions for you in an open-world game. As someone who plays video games, the way that I’ve seen my submission shine through with them is when I play games with His other submissive. Playing games together is a way that we have bonded, and my Master loves seeing us all get along. It’s been a great way to introduce potential submissives to each other too.

The Arts

What better way than to dedicate a hobby to your Dominant by making something for them? It doesn't really matter what type of art it is—drawing, painting, ceramics, crocheting, sculpting, 3D modeling, you name it. Your Dom will love it if you create something for them. It can be something meaningful from the bottom of your heart or a quick little doodle they request. Especially if you can incorporate your kinks or scenes into your art. A drawing of you kneeling in front of your Dom, an abstract painting of what your mind feels like in a submissive state… all of these ways of expression can absolutely serve your Dominant. My Master requested I draw for Him and now He has it hanging on His fridge, ha!

Photography/Scrapbooking

Similar to art, photography and scrapbooking can be a great way to make something for your Dom. Taking pictures of yourself in revealing clothing, great shots of your Dom, or even just cute birds you find. I’ll drill it into your head: Dominants like when you dedicate something to them. It doesn’t matter what the end result is necessarily. I can take a picture of a random dog, and if I tell my Master “I took this picture because I know you like dogs”, He’ll treasure it forever.

Scrapbooking can be even better because it’s a way to share and save memories.
Scrapbooking your year in a dynamic, a nice scene, or just moments you’ve spent together are all ways to use your arts and crafts skills to serve.

Shopping

There are multiple ways to show off your submission by doing something super simple and a little too easy for everyone’s good: shopping! Most Dominants like when you treat yourself. Crazy, right? Showing off what you want can highlight a common love language in a good chunk of Dominants - gift giving. You can also look into purchasing items for a multitude of other hobbies that you can use to submit to your Dom. Life Hack: by presenting an item and saying “I would like this item and here is how it will serve you” will get you that item 9/10 times (not scientifically backed).

Got some money of your own? Thoughtful gifts for your Dominant are always an option! Find nice, convenient items that would actively improve their life.

Even if funds are tight, curating wish lists of items that might be useful for you or your dynamic still shows effort and long-term thinking. Especially if you’re creating lists on items you can’t yet afford but hope to one day, it shows your Dom you’re thinking about long-term submission.

At the very least, get yourself a cute outfit that your Dom can stare at you in. That’s usually enough ;)

DND

Hello to my fellow nerdy submissives out there.

And hello to my much less nerdy folks. This is a note from Aidan, Charlies's Master, hopping on for a quick clarification. DnD stands for Dungeons and Dragons, a fantasy tabletop role-playing game. I (embarassingly) had to be taught that a couple years ago and I didn't want to leave y'all in the dark. Handing the mic back to the boy, now.

This is a great way for you and your Dom to bond. You utilize your creativity, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills. Developing these skills alone can really help you in your submission. Submissives do make decisions for their Doms from time to time, after all. This is also a great way to meet others in the kink community. You’d be surprised by the overlap of DND and kink… or maybe, based on the art you might've seen, you’re not surprised at all. Meeting other D/s-involved folks, starting a game, and actively showing your submission when playing the game will make your Dominant proud.

Writing/Journaling

Another great one and somewhat integral to a lot of dynamics out there. Hey, I’m doing this right now! Writing stories for your Dominant to read, making a diary of your daily thoughts for them, maybe even writing articles (cough cough). Writing is a great way to show servitude because there are so many ways to do it. Poetry is another form of writing I’ve dedicated to my Master.

Here’s the thing—it doesn’t have to be journaling or creative writing. My Master’s other submissive has learned how to write emails for my Dom. I’ve picked up how to make invoices, write contracts, and build up other technical writing skills my Dom has put to use. Writing is an everyday skill that shows up in most areas of life. Learning to write clearly and cohesively can be useful in all sorts of ways for your Dominant.

Language Learning

You never know when you might run into a situation where knowing how to speak another language might come in handy. By learning another language, you're promising your Dom that you can communicate if you ever travel to a region of the world that mainly speaks that language. You’re able to provide them access to information from a whole other language now. Language learning is a great hobby to have in itself, and for all the reasons it’s helpful for you, it’ll also be helpful for your Dominant.

Hiking

This is another one I suggest doing with your Dominant. It promotes a healthy and active lifestyle, yes, but it’s also serene and allows you to take a moment to step back from life. Being in a dynamic can have its ups and downs. Life does too. Taking a moment to get away from it all and look at the beautiful scenery, away from technology, is a fantastic way to spend one-on-one time with your Dominant. Even doing it solo, you’re coming back refreshed, relaxed, and more grounded to serve your Dominant. When my Master and I were in a long-distance relationship, we would send pictures of the hikes we took to make us feel like we were there together.

Musical Instruments/Singing/Karaoke

Similar to the arts, you can dedicate learning an instrument to your Dom. You can take an instrument you already know and learn a song of their choice. Learn a new one that they love listening to. Even just serenade them with music you already know.

This one comes down to dedication. Learning music takes time, but showing a willingness to improve or strumming a tune for your Dom to relax is a great way to show skill and submission at the same time.

Dedicating a song to your Dominant will make any of them tear up, even the most sadistic of them all.

Reading/Researching

In my opinion, learning is the best way to passively serve your Dominant. You can pick up books about kink (there’s more out there than you’d realize, trust me).

Like most of these hobbies though, the hobby itself doesn’t have to directly relate to kink. You can read a book about any of these hobbies to strengthen your skills. You can read a book that your Dominant wants to provide them information about a topic they’re interested in. It doesn’t have to be a book even, it can be gathering articles and information for them to look through. A knowledgeable submissive is always handy to have.
Even if you’re not into the research part or non-fiction books, reading can help with your mindfulness. I wrote an article previously about how removing TikTok and other short-form media improved my submission. Reading can help with focus, long-term memory, and strengthen your presence for your Dominant. I’m actively trying to incorporate reading into my nightly routine with my Dominant. Sometimes the best way I can submit is cuddling up next to my Dom with a book as we both read together.

Meditation/Mindfulness/Yoga

To follow up on the previous one, mindfulness techniques are one of the best tools a submissive can have. Taking a moment to calm your thoughts, stretch your body, and introspect will lead to a confident, resilient submissive. If a scene is becoming too much for you, it’s important to have the skill to introspect and see if there’s anything you need. Or even if you can “meditate” through it, being in touch with the strength of your mind versus potential sadistic pain. There are a lot of ways to practice mindfulness and meditation, even through the other hobbies. When you’re hiking, stop that podcast or the music you’re listening to. Focus on the sounds of your surroundings. When you’re playing music, tune in to each individual note and stop worrying about perfection. When you’re working out, go for a good stretch after and listen to where your body needs it.

Closing Thoughts

You might notice a bit of a trend here. While I’ve only listed a handful of hobbies, the idea isn’t making the hobby completely fit into your kink and submission. It’s more about ways you can include your Dominant, make something for them, or show them that they’re being thought about. If your Dom is anything like mine, they like knowing that they’re always with you in some way. Dedicating something that you find so much enjoyment in shows your Dom how much you care for them.

Here’s what you and your Dom should remember: don’t aim for perfection. Hobbies aren’t your job. They’re not your lifeline. If you accidentally burn the chicken when cooking, that’s okay. If you suck at drawing, that doesn’t matter. If you put too much expectation on yourself or your Dominant puts too much pressure on you (or more pressure than you’d like), it ruins the point of your hobbies. Don’t make a hobby a chore; keep it fun.
Even if your hobby isn’t listed on here, ask yourself the following questions:

Will my Dominant enjoy partaking in my hobby? Is there anything I can give my Dominant through this hobby? Is there a skill I’m developing that I can use to please my Dominant?

How can I showcase that I’m thinking about my Dom through this hobby?

By finding ways to connect your hobbies and your submission together, you’re reminding yourself of your place and enjoying your subspace while still having fun in a more relaxed setting.